And if you’re not familiar with Tracey Chapman’s song, watch her at YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTyAZTvLfAM)

There is much talk in the industry about machine translation. Imagine it: go to a website, upload your document, select which languages you want, click “translate” and, hey presto, document translated or “documento tradotto”.

But just how close are we to reaching El Dorado?

Well, Google has a free online language translation service which “instantly translates text and web pages”. See it at http://translate.google.com. Other websites exist which claim to do automatic translation. And not only on the web – handheld electronic dictionaries can “translate” small phrases and words.

And if you think this is El Dorado, feel free to translate all your documents there. If you are the kind of person who thinks that translation is, more or less, looking up words in a dictionary and therefore any website could do it, then, please, go to Google.

But hang on, you said that there is a lot of talk about machine translation, so we must be getting closer, right? Sure, we’re getting closer. But get in your car and hit the motorway – you’re closer to travelling at the speed of light but I dunno if you’ll make it.

So what are you saying? That machine translation is impossible?

Put it like this: what if I were to tell you that there’s this fish you can get…pop it in your ear and you’ll be able to understand any spoken language. It’s called marine interpreting. You’d think that pretty cool, huh? Ok, so maybe not a fish, but what about a little device that sits in your ear and could do the same thing?

There are probably people working on just that idea as I write but there are so many good ideas and good intentions. We start off with a dream and everyone gets terribly excited. The bloggers love it because they can show how informed they are; how incisive they can be; how in the “in crowd” they are.

But then what? I need an end-of-quarter report translated. I need a press release translated. My brochures too.

So after getting sloshed on the alcopop of machine translation, I awake to a hangover of 10,000 words from English to Spanish by Friday. There may be a lot of talk about machine translation but what’s Spanish for “It sounds like a whisper”?

I like peanut butter. Do you know how many different brands and types of peanut butter there are? (I stopped counting at 74). But I like just peanuts in my peanut butter – no added sugar nor salt – and I feel better buying the organically grown stuff too. Know how big my choice is now? A lot smaller.

When it comes to translation services, you’ve got another massive choice. And if you don’t speak German how can you judge the translation? How can you “filter out” translation agencies or freelance translators?

It’s not easy but consider an average UK-based freelance professional translator (sources/assumptions are listed at the end). A careful and thorough experienced professional can translate about 2,000 words a day or 10,000 words a week. If the translator works 48 weeks a year (well, they must take a holiday sometime!), they translate 480,000 words a year.

The entry-level translator salary is £22,000 a year: 4.5p per word.
Experienced translators can earn £35,000 a year: 7p per word.
And senior translators could reach £50,000 a year: 10p per word.

But just as every author has their work reviewed, so every translation should be checked. “Proof-reading” really means “copy-editing and proof-reading” because we compare the translated text with the original and check the translation. Rates tend to range from a third to a half of the translation cost (although many charge by the hour).

So the next time you need a translation done, consider a senior translator will charge 10p word, then the reviewer will charge 3p-5p per word.

And if you have a large project, or many language combinations, factor in the Project Management costs too.

If you’ve just Googled “English German translation” and agreed 3p a word, are you buying peanut butter made from just organic peanuts or are you buying peanut butter made with added dextrose, palm oil, sugar, salt, colouring, flavouring and preservative?

Which would you rather put into your system?

To translate or to interprete: that’s the real question. Whether ’tis nobler in the mind of the client to correct their mistake or to take a guess and deliver the wrong service.

“Exactly what is this nonsense?”, I hear you ask.

Let me explain. A client called us recently and asked whether we could provide a translator. Our conversation went like this:

client: “I need a translator.”
intrawelt: “Of course! No problem. What do you need translated?”
c: “I don’t know. The meeting’s next week.”
i: “The meeting? So you want the minutes translated?”
c: “What? No, I need a translator to tell me what the Japanese are saying.”
i: “Oh…..so you need an interpreter.”
c: “No. I need a translator.”

So you can see our dilemma. Technically, an interpreter works with the spoken word and a translator will work with the written word. But some clients use the terms interchangeably. To us, it makes a huge different because the skills required are quite different (although there is some overlap, admittedly). But to the client, it’s all the same.

And I can see the client’s point of view – they need someone to help them communicate with their Japanese colleagues. Really, the client doesn’t care if we call them Interpreters, Translators, or Mary or Mark. What they care about is what’s “inside the box” – the service – rather than the label. Our trick, as a business, is to establish what that service is and to deliver it. Fortunately, we do have an interpreter called Mary.